


Reach For It

by Awesome_Sauce432



Series: Post Episode Fun Times [7]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caduceus Likes His Metaphors Okay, Confessions, F/F, Getting Together, Healing, Hiding Injuries, Jealousy, Kissing, Pining, Plant Metaphors, Resolved Misunderstandings, post episode 84
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 14:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21393493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome_Sauce432/pseuds/Awesome_Sauce432
Summary: Beau's tired and hurt after a tough battle against a terrifying assassin, but it's fine. Jester and Fjord are in love with each other and will probably get together any day now but it's fine.Caduceus notices, and he's got... plant metaphors.Somehow some of these things end up working out.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Series: Post Episode Fun Times [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1487249
Comments: 15
Kudos: 218





	Reach For It

The Mighty Nein stumbled into the Leaky Tap, too exhausted to try and make their way all the way to the Cobalt Soul Archive where they’d have free lodging. With all the money they’d received that day, one night’s rent was the last of their worries.

No, they had far more dangerous things to be concerned about, like how an ancient evil _assassin _of the Betrayer Gods had attacked them in broad daylight, in the middle of the Empire, in an attempt to kill them.

The assassin had retreated for now, vanishing through a wall and not reappearing, and Fjord’s new fuck-you-if-you’re-invisible magic indicated they weren’t hiding around waiting for another chance to strike, and Caleb hadn’t been able to detect any magic, and Jester and Caduceus had _both _checked in with their gods to see if the assassin was still close by and got a negative answer, but they were all still on edge.

Every other time, _they’d _been the ones to make the first strike on Obann. They’d hunted him down, or followed the clues to some creepy underground lair, they’d made the first move. Now he was striking back, and it had been brutal.

They paid for their rooms and headed upstairs, Beau drifting at the back of the pack just to make sure nothing followed them, and so no one could see her wince when she climbed up the stairs. The assassin (with the name The Inevitable End, how pretentious and also terrifying) had gotten her good, stabbing through her coat into the side of her back, just above her hip, but it hadn’t been enough to take her down, and in the long run, not as bad as what most of the others got.

So when Jester and Caduceus had called out to know who needed healing immediately after the fight, Beau hadn’t raised her hand. If the assassin came back, that magic could be put to better use.

At the front, Caleb and Nott disappeared into their room almost immediately, both bloodstained and exhausted. Jester was helping Fjord make his way up the stairs, the half-orc limping from the remnants of a nasty gash up his leg that had practically rendered him immobile for half the fight. Jester had one arm around his waist supporting him, the other holding his shoulder, her eyes filled with concern when she looked at him.

Concern and… other things, probably.

Beau tore her gaze away, feeling a swirling in her stomach (or maybe it was internal bleeding) and a stab of irritation at letting her mind drift to that when they’d all nearly died. So Jester was in love with Fjord. So what? It didn’t hurt.

In forcing her eyes away from Fjord and Jester, she looked at Caduceus, who paused at the top of the stairs waiting for them all to get to the top. They made eye contact, and Beau could never tell what was going on in Caduceus’ eyes, but always felt like they were watching, keeping an eye on things. Now it just felt like they were searching, peering straight through her and seeing everything.

And in the corner of her eye, she sees Jester help Fjord to the room he shares with Caleb and Nott, and the wound in her side is pulsing and so she stares down at the ground, focusing on getting up to the top of the stairs without tripping.

Caduceus’ hand, heavy but loose, easy to brush off if she really wanted to, caught her shoulder as she tried to brush past him, to go to the room she shared for Jester. For however much longer that would be happening. If Jester and Fjord got together they’d end up rooming together, wouldn’t they? That would make sense. The thought tasted bitter.

“Beauregard, would you mind helping me for a moment?” Caduceus’ voice didn’t pierce through her thoughts the way Nott’s or Jester’s might have. Instead, it melted through, soft and tired and just a little curious.

“Sure.” Beau desperately wanted to sleep, even though it was still early afternoon. But she followed Caduceus to his room anyway. He used to room with Yasha, while she’d still been with them. She wondered if he missed that. “What’s the problem?”

“If you could just help me get this armour off, that’d be great.” Caduceus said smoothly, taking off his coat. “It can be hard to get off in the best of times.” And this sure wasn’t the best of times.

“Yeah, sure,” Beau said, following Caduceus’ instructions on where some of the buckles and knots that held his armour together were, pulling it off and laying it on the ground. “I guess this wasn’t so useful against that knife.”

“They likely saved me from even further harm.” Caduceus mused, picking up one of the pieces and examining it. “I would never be able to continue on the way you do, without armour.”

“I’m quick,” Beau said. Even if he wasn’t looking directly at her, it felt like he was. “Don’t need armour if they can’t catch you.”

“Hmm. Would you mind letting me see your injury?” Beau’s eyes widened, and Caduceus turned to look at her.

“Ah shit, this was a trap.” She scowled, only realising after she’d said it that she effectively admitted she was hurt. The corner of Caduceus’ mouth twitched, and he gestured towards one of the beds in the room.

“Yes, it was.”

Beau’s eyes flickered to the door, which was ever-so-slightly ajar, before she finally sighed, slipping off her long coat and dropping it onto the floor so she wouldn’t get blood on the bed, before sitting down. Maybe she’d get blood on the bed anyway. Too late now.

Caduceus circled around until he located the injury, humming to himself. “That looks painful, Beau.”

“I’m still standing, so it probably wasn’t poison, at least,” Beau said, smiling hollowly.

“You know you can tell us you need healing before you’re on death’s door.” That was an annoying thing about Caduceus. He was entirely laidback and chill, and then all of a sudden he’s cutting right to the point while Beau is still dancing around the outside of it and trying to run away.

“I know.” She said, stiffening up as Caduceus carefully poked the area around the injury, probing it. “The others needed it more.”

“We still have bandages, and salves, and other non-magical ways of dealing with this,” Caduceus said, pressing his hand over the wound.

It was always a relief to feel the healing magic settling through, even though Beau was still certain there was a better use for it. “It woulda been fine by morning.”

“That’s not the point, and I think you know that,” Caduceus said, in a tone that could _almost _be considered snappy.

“No point making Jester fret if she doesn’t have to. She’s got enough to worry about.” Beau frowned, closing her eyes as the last of the healing sunk in. “She’s got… other things to be thinking about. Other people.”

“She’s your best friend. She thinks about you a lot.” Caduceus came back around in front of her, his eyebrows knitting together. “Did something happen between you two?”

“Nothing happened.” Beau scoffed, running a hand over where the injury had been, finding nothing but a raised bump that she knew would be gone by the morning, and half-dried blood. “She’s just… I’m…” Her voice trailed off.

Caduceus stayed patiently quiet, which was very annoying when Beau was trying to wait him out so that he’d let her go without any more awkward questions.

Finally, she groaned. “I just talked to Nott today, right? Because Jester was talking to Fjord, and I was wondering what they were talking about.”

“Oh. Yes, I noticed you all talking to each other earlier today.” Caduceus nodded, and Beau wasn’t even surprised. Of course, he would have noticed.

“Well, did you hear what any of us said? Did you hear what Fjord and Jester were talking about?”

“No, I didn’t pay attention to either conversation. I assumed if it was important you’d tell us all eventually.” How irritatingly respectful of him.

“Cool. Cool.” Beau hesitated for a moment, her hands curling into fists. “Nott said she thinks Jester has feelings for Fjord, and that it’s requited. Which makes sense. Like, Jester flirted with him a lot ages ago but she hasn’t really done it as much recently so I thought maybe she’d kinda moved on. But like, why wouldn’t she fall for Fjord? He’s tall and she met him before she met me and he’s got cool magic and has saved her life a bunch or whatever.”

“I think all of us have saved each others lives more than once,” Caduceus said, frowning ever so slightly. “It’s not an inherently romantic gesture.”

“Yeah, but… if someone you _like _saves your life, it’s different.” Beau stood up, thinking about all the times she’d come back from unconsciousness only to see Jester’s face above her. Sometimes concerned, sometimes angry, sometimes scared, always beautiful. “And of course Fjord would fall in love with her. She’s amazing, he’d have to be totally stupid not to fall in love with her. Asshole.”

She winced. “I mean, he’s not an asshole. He’s one of my other best friends, he’s great. I’m rambling. There’s nothing wrong here and it’s great and I’m just being weird again and I should be happy for them.”

Caduceus was looking at her and she could practically see the wheels turning in his brain, seeming to come to a conclusion. He cleared his throat, taking a seat on the bed she’d just vacated and holding his hands together like he was praying, but with the top of his fingers pointed towards her.

“Beau…” he began, pausing for a moment to inhale before continuing. It wasn’t the kind of ‘inhale so I can figure out exactly how to tell you how stupid you’re being’ inhale that she was intimately familiar with, but more of a ‘inhale so I can pick the perfect plant metaphor to talk about this situation with, because plants are just that fucking awesome’. “You know there’s lots of different kinds of plants in the world.”

Beau sat down on the other bed in the room, her gaze on the floor. Plant metaphors. Knew it.

“Sometimes plants that you think will grow well together, that come from a similar environment and look great when separated, don’t actually thrive together. You can still push them together, and water them and give them the care and attention they need, but it just doesn’t work. Sometimes some plants do grow well together, but not as well as they possibly could. One might grow taller and steal the sunlight from the other, or one might develop deeper roots and take most of the water. There’s no understanding between them.”

Beau stared, trying to figure out the exact parameters of this metaphor. Was she a plant? Was the gardener involved at all or were they representative of fate or something?

“But sometimes, you can get two plants that come from entirely different places, two entirely different countries. You would never think to put them together at first, but when you do, and you pay attention, you realise they go together wonderfully. Their roots can intertwine, their flowers bloom together, and one could be mistaken for thinking they’re nurturing each other, making up for something the other lacks. But the plants can’t create that connection by doing nothing. They have to reach for it.”

Nodding slowly so that Caduceus couldn’t tell exactly how terribly lost she was in all this, Beau tried to process it.

She’d already practically spelled out to Caduceus that she had feelings for Jester, but she had no idea what he was trying to say about it. Did he think they’d be good together? Did he think she should confess because Jester and Fjord got officially together? Which plant was she supposed to be?

Sometimes, metaphors sucked.

“Right.” She finally said, after a long pause that she assumed to mean Caduceus was finished talking for now.

Feeling restless, like something was crawling underneath her skin, she stood up again, scooping up her coat and heading for the door. “Thanks. I guess. For the healing.”

Caduceus hummed in acknowledgment, wishing her a good night’s sleep as she left the room. As if she’d even be able to get to sleep at all.

She half expected her room to be empty when she got there but no, Jester was sitting on one of the beds, relief washing over her face when she saw Beau walk in, quickly disappearing beneath a tired smile. “Beau! Where did you go?”

“Caduceus wanted me to help him with his armour,” Beau said, dropping her coat on the other bed. She bit the inside of her cheek, and then mumbled an addition, “Also, he healed some injury I had, no big deal.”

“You were hurt?” Jester’s head snapped towards her, frowning. “Beau, you didn’t say you were hurt!”

She scrambled up to look Beau over, squinting at every scar and poking every scratch she could see. “Hiding injuries is really bad for you!”

“Yeah, I already got that lecture from Caduceus, don’t worry about it.” Beau’s mind was spinning, her heart beating like it was going to burst out of her chest, only speeding up when Jester looked up at her.

“Beau, today was really scary. What if you didn’t get it healed and then there was internal bleeding and then you died overnight or something?”

Beau opened her mouth to retort, before dropping her head. “I’m sorry.”

Jester’s face scrunched up a little before relaxing, wrapping her arms around her shoulders in a hug. “At least Caduceus fixed it. But you can come to me, you know?”

“You were worrying about the others. Fjord and whatever.” Beau murmured. “I didn’t want to impose.”

“You’re not imposing, Beau,” Jester said, her brows furrowing together. “What does Fjord have to do with it?”

Shit. Abort. Go back to Caduceus and talk about plant metaphors! “Nothing! He was just- more hurt. You were busy with him! And I get it, you know, I don’t mind, it’s fine, I know how you feel-”

“How I feel?” _Shit, she’d said too much_\- “What do you mean, Beau?”

Wishing the window was close enough for her to jump out of it to escape this conversation, Beau stammered for a few moments. “You know… you… like him and everything. Romantically.”

Jester’s frown deepened, and her arms dropped to her side, leaving Beau standing by herself. “Why- I don’t- Why do you think that?”

Ordinarily, Beau would have expected Jester to blush and giggle at that declaration, maybe deny it. Instead, she just looked confused, and a bit worried. “Because… you were. You tried to flirt with him. All that… that Oskar stuff.”

Now Jester actually _grimaced_, suddenly entirely uncomfortable. “No, I- I thought I liked him. Maybe I did, I’m not sure- but I don’t anymore.” She scratched lightly at her arms, her cheeks flushed.

“You don’t?” Beau blinked, staring Jester in the eye and suddenly re-evaluating everything she thought she knew about current group dynamics.

“No!” Now Jester actually laughed, curtly and nervously, before trailing off. “Why… why does it matter?”

Beau swallowed her words, the silence after that question hanging in the air like a heavy weight. “I thought… I-”

“Even if I _did _like Fjord, it wouldn’t change anything! You’re my- my best friend, I like you so much!”

“I like you too!” Beau said quickly, all of her emotions swirling inside her, threading to spill over.“But I thought you were in love with Fjord and that just- I was jealous! I was jealous because I’m in love with _you!_”

Jester’s eyes widened, and suddenly Beau was frozen. For a few moments, there was nothing but the sound of quick breathing and muffled city sounds that felt a million miles away.

Beau hung her head, her face and neck feeling like they were on fire. Jester took a step forward, then another, until she was just in front of Beau, so close she could feel her breath. “You love me?”

She just nodded, and then there was a finger under her chin, gently tilting her head upwards until she was looking at Jester. Her eyes were shining, and then both her hands cupped Beau’s cheeks.

“Jes?”

Without another word Jester stood up on the tips of her toes, pulling Beau down at the same time until their lips met, eyes squeezed tight. Beau started with surprise and almost pulled away before stopping herself, leaning in the cool touch of her skin, all thoughts of jealousy and plants and blood suddenly insignificant in the fact of this moment. She closed her eyes too and kissed back, passionately for a second before it faded and they pulled away, staring into each other’s eyes.

“You love me,” Jester repeated breathlessly.

“Yeah.” Beau felt numb, a part of her in disbelief this was happening. Maybe she had fallen unconscious, and this was all an elaborate dream. “Do you love me?”

“I think so.” Jester’s eyes flickered down to Beau’s lips, her mouth curling upward. “Might… might need another kiss to know for sure.”

Beau couldn’t help a short laugh, reaching her hands around Jester’s waist and pulling her in close. “Happy to oblige.”

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my buddy empirekidzbop on twitter, u a real one 
> 
> also: plant metaphors. they're important.


End file.
